I’m nearly there, so very nearly there; drawing to the end of this journey. In my mind, I am walking on the surface of a sea of deepest green, floating like a revenant over the dark depths of the ocean, fleet footed toes dipping into a vast source that yearns to embrace me and threatens to engulf me in turn and in unison. Oh that I could live forever in these places, and perhaps I actually do…… this life being but a sharp intake of breathe, this material existence just a heartbeat within eternity.
And I know it is time to walk again into the realms beyond the door, to see what comes next in this pageant that I am playing, or living, as it has come to be. How rich am I to be able to do this, to take the wealth of awareness in the worlds that lie all around me and within me, for the most part unseen and for the most part untapped. The beauty that lies here is rich and perfectly formed, jewels of divine artistry, a land that hints at the perfection that we could all have, the world and I and all her people, the perfection of divine intent, the glory of god.
And so I rise from my fantastical reveries and walk away to the worlds beyond the wooden door, leaving the long hallway behind me, the trusted icons of furniture, the black and white tiled floor, to place my bare feet on the satin stairs and lead my spirit into the place of forever.
Today, I walk into a large and beautiful formal garden, which seems particularly ornate and intricate, full of unusually shaped trees, buildings and plantings. I see that I am standing in a vast geometric maze of tightly clipped box hedges. Unusually however, the hedges are only waist high, suggesting that it should be very easy to find the way out, but as I stare intently at the lines and twists and turns, I can see that there really seems to be no way out. I appear to be stuck in the middle of this maze, and although it defies reason, I cannot move forward.
I understand that there is something deep below the surface that needs to be sorted out, before I can free myself from the current situation, and so I descend through the ground beneath my feet, leaving my “body” behind me and explore what lies underneath the maze. I emerge into a dark, damp and huge underground cavern, and I can see the roots of the hedges poking down through the rocky roof, but rather than hanging freely, they are bound up in clumps, wrapped around bundles upon which they are feeding. The bundles appear to me to be like still born children, still encased in their cauls, and the box trees are extracting what is in them and growing accordingly. I see too that what the cauls actually contain are the past experiences of my life, and that the height or confusion of the maze is directly related to what the roots are feeding on.
I go back up to the surface and take another look at the maze. The hedges have grown, and become denser, and I can see very little of the beautiful garden now. Much has been obscured and there is only a little room for movement. I feel suffocated and limited by all this greenery and foliage that is threatening to swamp me, and so I go back down below to see what I can do about it.
On closer inspection, I can see that the box plants are arranged on a grid, and that by grasping hold of the bundles, I can actually move the plants around. My hands are getting filthy with all the soil on the roots, and every now and then one of the cauls breaks, and I am covered with a slimy mess of mud and stones. Some of them are ready to burst, whilst others seem very firm and tight. Every so often I catch a glimpse of faces in the bundles, and places that I have known, which I find alarming and rather frightening, but I carry on with what I am doing, even though it feels very unpleasant. I know that I just have to get on and do it, if I am to break free of this entanglement. I know that I cannot do all the work that needs to be done here now, so I just arrange them as best I can, revealing a more ordered and open structure, that I hope will give me the liberty to move around more freely up on the surface.
I travel back up to the garden, and emerge on the surface again, disheveled and unkempt, my hair full of mud, and my face smeared with earth. I see with relief, that the maze is no longer confusing, in fact it is no longer a maze., rather a collection of avenues which all lead to an open space at the far side of the garden.
I walk between the now orderly hedges and I find myself standing in front of three circular open sided buildings, that look rather like small temples. I go and stand in the pink one, the one in the center, which is empty, and I can see that the other two are full of people, and that they all seem to be yelling at me, and telling me what I should do.
I pay them attention, listening to first one and then another, their messages, their opinions, their views and their desires, until gradually all the voices seem to blend into one another, and the noise completely disappears, and I am left with a deep and profound sense of peace. The words are all still there, I can see the mouths of the people moving, but really, what they are saying is actually becoming silent before it even reaches my ears. I start to hear a different voice, one that is coming from above me, and I listen carefully, for it seems to contain elements of all of what is being said in the blue and green buildings, but it has a new flavor that is completely different.
I can hear Malachi’s echo within the voice, but it is not his, nor is it the voice of any of the people that are in the temples beside me, it is not even my own voice, although it has elements of that too. This is a new voice, a strong and powerful voice, that is growing steadily day by day, I know that this voice will get stronger and stronger and will never be silenced, it will always be with me.
I sit and listen to the voice and as I look into the distance of the garden, I see the brown backed figure of Malachi disappearing through the hedges, and it occurs to me that this may be the last time that I will see him. Because he has taught me well, perhaps he doesn’t need to be here in this place with me any more, maybe he has another student to attend to.
I hear the clarion call, and I see the banner of The Nine of Disks materialize in the rich greens of the garden, and the colors are so similar that it is difficult to discern where the portal begins and the garden ends. I rise from where I am sitting in the pink temple, and I walk towards the glyph, walk towards home, back once more into The Hallway of Beginnings.
The Nine of Disks
Ten Degrees to Twenty Degrees of Virgo
The Lord of Material Gain
My name is Joanna Grant, I am an Astrologer, Tarot Reader and Writer, who lives on the beautiful Beara Peninsula in the South West of Ireland. I can often be found at home, deep in arcane research, or practicing some new form of divination whilst burning the dinner! My children wish I was “normal” but will be delighted in the end, that I’m not. My long knowledge of Astrology leads and informs my practice, in offering guidance, empowerment and healing, helping others to lead a more authentic and magical life. You can read more about me here.
Thoth card images are reproduced with the kind permission of U.S.Games