There is a clarity today that I have not felt for a while, the light is clearer, the sounds more sharply defined, less muted. The hallway of beginnings seems to have developed new edges, and I walk up the steps feeling as though I am going somewhere that I have not been before, as opposed to wondering if I am going anywhere at all.
Confidence appears to be accompanying me on my path today, and I push the door open calmly and with authority, and I step through the drifting slices of turquoise blue, and into the Seven of Swords.
I am in a sunlit square where the ground is paved with rough squares of stone in the colours of the desert, bleached with the familiarity of the suns rays. Towards my left, stands a row of tall town houses, facing the street, they have first and second, and perhaps even third floors, but I am focusing on their ground floors today, for they all have wide open windows that invite my inspection into their cool interiors. There are six in all, and I walk up and down scanning the rooms as I go. They are all different, in both colour schemes and styles, and contain different things, but I do not feel particularly happy with any of them, none of them are exactly what I am looking for.
I go back to the first house, and I take a closer look…..it is plain, straight forward… even utilitarian perhaps….the word shaker comes to mind, no nonsense, clean lines…. sparse…or even spartan… is this the house of Mars? I move on slowly, to the next window… where silken drapes and effervescence, announce a room that is reminiscent of a boudoir. There are ornaments and decoration, fine paintings and comfort. The fabrics are rich, luxurious, inviting and…. but no, it is too over the top…suffocating even, as if once in there you would never escape, hemmed in by frippery and trinkets. I walk on to the next window, considering that I must have been looking in at the abode of Venus, and look into the third house. Here is a thing… a rather busy room, a room of activity, the table scattered with papers, and half finished projects. There is a row of boots and shoes at the door, standing at the ready, and various sticks in the corner, walking sticks perhaps. This room seems too active, not restful at all…perhaps the house of Mercury, and I move on to the next house. The fourth house had a larger window than the others, and is also a busy room, but there seems to be more purpose here. Rather than the randomness of the last house, there is an atmosphere of learning about this room, tall bookshelves line the walls, stuffed with a vast array of volumes of all shapes and colours…. various maps are spread across the table and a variety of what looks like games are stacked up on the floor near the door, surrounded by cricket bats and a few balls…. the room seems completely overwhelming, and I feel that I am at the abode of Jupiter. I leave feeling slightly anxious, like I am about to miss out on something exciting, but I press on.
The fifth house opens its heart to me next, an ordinary looking room, with a table and chairs, comfortable and warm…. It seems like someone had just left, there is the remains of a meal on the table, a fire alight in the hearth, the cushions on the chair still bearing the imprint of someone sitting… it looks like home, too much like home… and I move on again. The last house I come to reveals a room that has a solidity to it that the others lack, permanent features, austere but not unlovely, a gracious severity that speaks of refinement and meaning…….and I favour it above the others, but it is still not what I am looking for. None of the houses represent what I want, and all of them leave me feeling dissatisfied with what I have, unsure of what it was I really want.
I move on down the street, and come to a small crowd that has gathered to hear someone speak…. The figure is standing addressing the crowd with confidence, and I stand admiring them, listening………….and then I realise I am talking…. I am the figure standing in the square…. talking with a calm confidence, to the people that are gathered around me. And as I look at myself from outside, and look out of myself from within, I see and feel a line of people standing behind me that stretches back into the deepest and distant past, centuries and more, unfurl as I utter words that have been carried by an unbroken line of women and men, old, and young, even children that stretch back into the origins of time itself.
I feel as if I am possessed of an invisible totem pole, and that this is carved with all the many faces of my ancestors, something that will remind me that I am the product a line of thousands, and that I carry every one of them with me….. and to trust in that wealth of knowledge.
I leave in awe….. silence within me as I bear the myths of a multitude of mothers, back through the turquoise portal, back into the Hallway of Beginnings.
The 7 of Swords
Moon in Aquarius
The Lord of Unstable Effort