Today, I walk to meet The Five of Swords, a card that has escaped my attention so far, loitering in the shadows of my awareness, hanging back from the proceedings. I have been aware of its presence, and although quiet of late, I still see it, as I flick and turn the cards, shuffle and sort, deal and cut in this game of life that I play, that is both symbolic, but also real. So today, I have been gifted this card, and I will journey into the disturbing colours, and the painful argument of design that appears to me both frightening and welcoming, like a dreaded pain that you know will mark the ending of suffering. Are they drops of blood that are depicted upon the card, or are they pomegranate seeds? Do they spell death, or do they spell life, do they promise peace or war……..
I rise, then, from the old elm chair, and take the well worn path which leads from The Hallway of Beginnings, up onto the first landing, the place where I find the door that leads me into the road to forever, the places of my dreams, the journey of my soul. I walk into the potentials that are contained in the corridors of my perception, and the lands that lie in the realms that we cannot see. How far these places stretch is unknown to me, and sometimes I wish that I could stay here always, in the land of endless vision, and one day, I know that I will stay here, I will never return, just continue on into the drifting stardust of the universe. But for now, I must travel The 5 of Swords, and gain some understanding of this sombre card, and with an exhale of breath, I open the door, and enter a landscape that has no feature; it is flat, and grey, with no mountain or hill, no tree or bird, no creation at all to rest my eyes upon.
So I stand upon the empty plain, and I wait for the vision to build, as build it must if I am to bring a story home to my waiting hands; and then I see them, travelling at speed , coming from all directions with a gravelly hissing sound, silver grey metal throwing stars fly into my vision towards me.
Large five pointed weapons of attack descend from all corners of this place, and I jump to escape from their murderous blades. Forwards and backwards I step, as I am assaulted by this terror, and I become so preoccupied with my fear of being lacerated, that I can think of nothing else. Fear engages my mind and robs me of any space in which to think, and I go into some sort of survival mode, flight or fight, although I can do neither, because I have no shield against these weapons, nor can I escape from the terror that they bring.
As this assault continues, I realise that I need to do something about the situation, and start to focus on the stars, rather than focussing on trying to escape from them. I look at them, and recognise them as a force that I can reckon with, and I gradually start to command them. More and more I focus on the stars, and smother and smoother becomes their assault. Gradually and almost imperceptibly, they begin to fall into ranks, streaming together into small streams of silver pain, and then gradually join further to form rivers. On and on they come, and as they join, they gather strength and might, an onslaught of cutting metal, slicing through the air towards me. As they gather their strength, they become easier to dodge, and I continue to command the stars until at last they have all joined forces into one massive army, approaching towards me from the North East. On and on they come in an endless march, passing in front of me and away to the south west, over my left shoulder.
As I see what I have managed to do with the fighting stars, I become aware of something begin to emerge in the land beyond, a mirage of transparent and glistering beauty is building itself out of the floor of the wasteland, a castle of shimmering light, luminescent and beautiful in contrast to the difficulty and sense of embattlement that I am standing behind.
On and on it grows, and I see a figure too, standing in front of the castle…. A woman in a long robe, made of the same shining and glowing material as the castle, figures of incandescent light that proclaim peace and calm in this place of assault.
She calls to me, the woman, her arms open and welcome, calling to me across the river of impossibility that I stand behind, and I see that in trying to avoid the threat, that I have succeeded in building a huge wall that now imprisons me, and that I can see no way of breaking through it now, that in a way I have imprisoned myself in trying to avoid the pain and difficulty that I was in. The force of the fighting stars is now immense, and although it does not directly threaten me, it prevents me from engaging with the rest of my vision.
I see that I need help in this situation, and I close my eyes and ask for my helpers to come, as they have done so before. I stand in trust and hope, and then I see them…. shy at first, but they come. Small brown and furry animals appear from the edges of my vision, creatures that by rights should be in their time of hibernation, but who come now in my hour of need, to help me to discover what it is that I need to know.
We all stand together, my helpers and I, and we face the river of the fighting stars, and I use the same technique on it that I used at the beginning, but this time I am focussing on the crystal castle ahead of me. I see the love and the warmth that emanates from beyond the fighting stars, and the castle becomes bigger, and taller and wider, and as it does so, the stars become smaller, and smaller. We all work together, focussing, balancing, creating and uniting, until eventually, the stars become so small, that we can gather them up, and brush them away, sweep them into nothing, cast them like dust into the wind.
My vision fills now with the uninterrupted energy of the castle, and the serene and luminous figure that lies ahead of me, and I walk into the light that beckons, the light that comforts, the light that brings peace to my mind, and hope to my heart, I walk into a land of shining and eternal light.
The Five of Swords
Venus in Aquarius
Nought to Ten degrees of Aquarius
The Lord of Defeat
My name is Joanna Grant, I am an Astrologer, Tarot Reader and Writer, who lives on the beautiful Beara Peninsula in the South West of Ireland. My long knowledge of Astrology leads and informs my practice in offering guidance and empowerment, helping others to lead a more authentic and magical life. You can read more about me here.
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