There is little preamble today, for I know that I need to find the answer to this card, the answer that has been trailing through my readings now for over a year. The Two of Swords, Moon in Libra, calming, enigmatic but yet somehow indecipherable, impenetrable and elusive. What does the calm cover, what lies beneath the apparently gentle and pleasing surface, what polarity will emerge from the serenity and justice of Libra’s sword, will it be a wolf in sheep’s clothing, a powerful invitation to embrace the darkness that lies behind every golden promise, the dark side of the moon?
So with a deep breath and a hopeful heart, I step into a land of gentle morning, and air that has the fragility of a bursting beech leaf; I walk into the landscape of the Two of Swords. Endless light breaks into my awareness as I walk into a place that seems distorted by an invisible convex mirror, a landscape where the architecture of the building that I can see stretches beyond my vision into the expansive and sunlit sky. Buttresses and arches spiral upwards bending outwards and inwards, confusing my vision until I cannot really make out where it begins or where it ends. As I finally pull my vision into shape and wrestle the images into some sort of cohesion, I can see that I am standing in front of a castle, and that I am confronted with a high arched doorway framing a firmly closed door ahead of me.
I inspect the surface of the door closely, and see that it is made up of strips of wood skilfully mitred together with the craft of a master carpenter. They form a closely woven lattice work that defies any point of entry, and I wonder how I am ever going to make my way into this place that seems so impenetrable and defensive. It seems to be so carefully crafted that I am at a loss to know how I am to be able to gain access.
As I wander into the wondering of my mind, I find myself turning slowly to look at where I have come from. I see the silken shimmering image of the card at the entrance to the door, the first time I have looked at from this angle as I have always been heading into the card, looking deeper, going forward without hesitation. And as I let myself be at peace with where I have come from, I begin to feel a strange sensation in my back, together with the unusual awareness that I am now a man, and that I am looking at things from a very different perspective. I feel a warmth drawing me, a relaxation at my back, and I suddenly feel as if I am dissolving, and as I rest with my back against the beautifully crafted wooden door I find that I am sinking through it, that the barrier has dissolved in the absence of my gaze, and that before I have realised it I have passed through the door into the darkness of the interior.
I find myself standing in an empty hallway, cool and silent, with no indication of what I need to do or where I need to be going. I stand in the silence and absorb the atmospheric sensations around me, feeling the calm, the total lack of interruption and the peace that this brings to my heart. I am still for a while, gauging the place and trying to let everything go; my attachments, my desires, my fears and my longings. I try to let them all disappear into the silence that surrounds me, the absence of anything to divert my attention from what I feel that I need to do next.
I find myself walking down a corridor, and into a room that is quite close by, and I am confronted by countless wooden boxes, coffins if you will, that are stacked in even rows along the smooth stone walls. One of them has been moved into the centre of the room, and I can see where it was sitting before for there is a gap in the ordered arrangement where it must have been resting up until now.
I kneel down and without ceremony, open the lid to the box, and immediately see what I know that I I have been looking for in this card. I see myself, a woman, lying peacefully in the wooden box, waiting to be reclaimed, recovered and restored, to be united with that aspect of me that searches for her. I am in a mirror image world, where I am seeking my femininity, my strength, my woman within the world of men. The me in the box, seems to be in some kind of suspended animation, and I suddenly become tormented by the endless possibilities that may occur if I should wake her. What will she be like, how will I cope with her, maybe I will hate her, will I love her, will she try to kill me, will I try to kill her?. All these endless possibilities flood through my mind and drive me nearly to the point of insanity. Like a Pandora s box they crowd around me like a swarm of potentially lethal beings and I realise then that the only way to end this unbearable torment is to actually make a move, to break out of this statue like approach that I have taken, and to embrace the horror and the divinity that I see before me, to take all that beauty and difficulty, the passion and ice, the suffering and the perfection into my arms, to take her to me, to hold her in my arms and open my heart to embrace the fullness of her very being. Because if I remain in this state of indecision I will surely go mad, and live forever in the realms of Tartarus.
I become calm and focussed with the dawning of my decision, and gently wake the sleeping woman up. She sits up and reaches out her arms to me with a smile in her eyes and a thousand flickering faces passing through her gaze, but I focus on something else, I focus on my trust in her, my trust in myself, and as I embrace her, she disappears into my arms, and I can feel her flooding into my heart, seeping into my mind and she becomes one with me, for she is me.
I leave the castle and head back into the fragile sunlight, and I see that Malachi is come. He is an old man today, with snowy hair and a long beard, rather reminiscent of a child’s fairy tale wizard. I stand beside him for a moment and he reassures me that my acceptance of all that is, is the key; that in all the choices that I make, the correct path will emerge, for all knowledge and all experience, arises from within the self, it does not matter in which place we learn, or experience, or with whom, it all comes from within, and our own personal contact with the divine.
He looks at me with that calm and gentle look that he always has on his face, and I thank him, but he is already walking away from me, disappearing into the summer haze, a shimmering figure of light dissolving into the air.
I turn back to the doorway, and I can see the green and golden sheen of the banner, and I know that it is time to go, that I have found peace of mind, that I have made my decision and that all roads lead to the same place. It is enough for the moment.
The Two of Swords
Moon in Libra
The Lord of Peace Restored
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