I am walking the journey of my soul, the journey of my life, the long trek to see the hidden view, to look out over my forever and to seek to know the secrets of my spirit and of those who walk beside me. At times this journey seems unbearable, one that I can no longer continue and that I will cast myself from the rocky cliffs to which I sometimes cling, to be dashed upon the scree slopes of my stupidity and my folly. But then at others, I catch a glimpse of a hidden treasure that no other eye has seen and my heart soars into a sublime song of heaven that sends me reaching for the next hand hold, the next sure footing in order that I can continue my journey, continue on, the pain gone for now, assuaged by the visions of infinity that I see before me.
I tread the stairs today with a sense of purpose, and as I reach the door, I pause to make an inventory of the frame. I feel around it, sense the age of the wood, explore with my fingers, gently touching into the roughness and the smoothness, stroking the softened edges and discovering places that have not been worn as yet, still bearing the grain of the mother wood from which it was made. My exploration over, I gently push open the door, pressing through the heavy velvet damson and plum curtains that shield the card of the Eight of Swords.
I walk into a dark and threatening landscape that reveals little in the inky blackness that stretches all around me like a thick and stifling blanket. All I can see in this whole vision is, far off into the distance, an illuminated castle, set up on a small hill, with lights blazing from every window.
I see that this castle must be my destination, but how am I to get there, when I cannot see anything, when my eyes are blind and my feet are stuck fast in a place of unknowing. I test the ground a little with my feet, searching for something with my bare toes, and I can feel that the path is narrow, and that it falls away sharply on either side. This knowledge gives me no confidence whatsoever, and I draw back my toes and stand in the void of darkness, looking at the castle ahead of me in despair. Turmoil and desperation fill my mind with rabid thoughts, and I struggle and fight against the feelings of helplessness that I am encountering. I feel like a child battling with an impossible problem and I could cry with the frustration of it all… the hopelessness that I feel in the face of what I want to attain.
And so, in my mother mind, I remember my small children, I remember their struggles at the end of their days, the tiredness and the sense of frustration that they faced as they sought achieve that which they were not ready for. I close my eyes, I close my eyes to bring the softness of the night, the forgiving fingers of her velvet hands to sweep away the tension and the turmoil from my weary mind.
And as my mind stills and my eyes accept the darkness, and the lack of light, I feel a sense of heaviness growing around my shoulders, and I feel that a cloak has been placed around them, and that upon my feet have grown soft leather boots. A wooden stave has been placed in my hand, and it connects me to the earth upon which I stand. Gradually I gain a sense of being ready now, ready to make this journey, and as I open my eyes I see that the path ahead has opened up, and that the path is visible, I can see my way, the way that I must travel in order to ascend the hill and gain the castle.
I understand that these items represent my intuition, my higher self, my connection to my guides, and that these things will help me in my journey, that they will show me which way to go. Using these will defeat the darkness and fear that is summoned by my monkey mind, and I will travel with clarity and confidence without paying too much attention to the fears that arise in me as I pass through the landscape. I set off towards the castle, trying not to think too much about where I am going, and allowing the cloak, boots and staff to guide me, and it is surprising how fast I am travelling now, and the castle draws ever closer.
And then it appears, as if by magic, a huge portcullis blocking my path, with no way round it or over it. It is a huge edifice, in the shape of the image of the card, and it is blocking the way to the castle.
I examine its design, look around it and ascertain the strength that it has. It is strong. I look at the barricade in front of me, and as I do so, I can feel the cloak becoming slightly heavier on my shoulders, so I close my eyes again and listen to what I am being told.
I relax and let the information come to me, and as I do so I understand that I am carrying a great number of bundles that are hanging from a wide belt that is strapped around my waist. I look down at them, and see how encumbered I am, trying at the same time to work out what they are for, and where they come from. I can kind of recognise some of them, and others are so old that I cannot believe that I still have them. I can’t believe that I ever thought that I would use them again, and I gain a clear insight into how these things are holding me back from what I want to achieve. I also see that there will be no access to the castle granted with all these bundles hanging around my waist.
Slowly, I pick each bundle in turn and examine the contents. I remember the love that was tied up in them, the hurt too, the pain, and I release them, I release them all. Every single one holds a treasure, a piece of me, and I recognize every single one with compassion, and I release them. I no longer need these bundles where I am going now, for I understand that they are now woven into the very fabric of my soul.
Feeling lighter, freer and more alive, and also much taller, I look again to the portcullis ahead of me, and I know what I must do. I step forward as a warrior, and my new height enables me to reach up and grasp the two upright swords firmly, one in each hand, and to strike at the 6 that remain. They fall quickly into a heap at my feet, before building themselves into a strange geometric formation that reminds me of the desert rose that I found in The Six of Swords. Again I slice through the swords, and as I do so, the swords scatter into pieces, then fragments and then dust, whirling into an eddy of grains, a vortex of mineral wealth, eventually solidifying and crystallizing into a tiny form of the desert rose from The Six of Swords . I bend down and pick it up, looking at it lovingly in my hand. Its crystalline perfection, both random and even, shows itself as unique and special to me and me alone, and I open a door in the wall of my chest, and place it in there, next to my heart for safe keeping.
I look towards the castle, and the gates are open. I see now that the way ahead is clear, and that a bright and shining golden sun has risen. I can see that the castle ahead of me is the one from The Two of Swords, and that I know what will happen now. I place the two swords that I am still carrying, into the back of my pack, and stride forwards feeling energized and excited, I see that the damson and crimson velvet curtains are opening ahead of me now, and I hear the clarion call, so I know that it is time to go again, back for now, into the peace and silence of The Hallway of Beginnings.
The 8 of Swords
Jupiter in Gemini
The Lord of Shortened Force
0-10 degrees of Gemini
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