Today the desire to form some stability and structure emerges, to find solidity and surety within this land of shifting dreams and visions, before I lose myself in the ever lengthening corridors that beckon me into the whispering enchantments of forever. I walk today to seek some manifestation of earth, some reality to anchor my mind upon, a building block for a child, a foundation stone for now, where I can rest for a while and gather my thoughts, where I can form a plan.
I rise from the old elm chair, in the hallway of beginnings, and I look down the corridor. Nothing has moved since I last studied the hallway, no other step has echoed under the high ceilings, no other hand has graced the curve of the handrail. The chequered tiled floor shines with a soft candlelight glow, and the satin sheen of the old woodwork exhales the faint scent of beeswax and love. I adore this place, this space in time, a place of seeds and of incubation, where all things are possible, where sublime visions may be nurtured and I can feel the connections that lead me back into the distant past and the golden call of my futures that draw me on into the blazing light…… I see them all….. but I also see the terror and the darkness, visions that threaten to suffocate me with fear….tears that drown me with their insistent welling and the nightmares that send me into the furthest corners of my soul to hide the shame of my grief and pain; all things are possible here, in the light and in the dark, in this place of creation.
As I approach the door, I wonder what will emerge today, and try not to think of how it will be, allowing the sensations to drift around me, to weave their own pattern of becoming. The door gives easily, and I pass through the red and aquamarine banner that proclaims the Three of Disks, into an empty and featureless landscape, that seems to be devoid of features, apart from some large solid triangular, building like objects, which are dotted across the plain. I go up to one of them to have a closer look, and see that it is made of a hard and shiny glass like material, opaque, and of an iridescent blue green colour that glows softly in the rather dim landscape that surrounds me. I check all around it, but there seems to be no other feature, no opening, no doorway, no way of understanding what this thing is , or where it came from, or even what its purpose may be. It is an enigma to me, and from all my knowledge, although I search deeply, I can find nothing which relates to it. I find this fact rather irritating, that I cannot work it out, and I examine the other objects in the hope that I may be able to find something there that offers some understanding, but no…. they are all equally as enigmatic and silent, giving me nothing but further questions, and so I turn away feeling rather annoyed by them.
I go back to the portal, for I remembered that there was something else there, that I only paid scant attention to when I came in. There is a tunnel opening that I chose to ignore, for the silvery blue objects looked more attractive, but I look again at the tunnel, and realise that I need to go through this place, in order to understand the riddle of the buildings in the landscape.
I walk into the darkness, and it feels as if I am entering a living creature for there is softness to the experience of walking that suggests to me that I am in the throat of a large animal of some sort. I walk on into the darkness, and I can barely see where I am going, but I carry on. I come to some water, which I need to cross, and it is warm, and slightly viscous which feels incredibly strange, but I wade through this, and out the other side, emerging on to a dry and stony feeling track. I carry on up now, rising higher and higher, it feels quite steep, until I emerge into a lighter place, and I can see further. Light starts to enter into where I am, and I see that Malachi has come today.
He stands beside me and shows me the landscape that stretches out ahead of me now, filled with light. I see the blue shiny buildings glowing with a silver aura, and he tells me that these belong to others, these are other people’s creations, and that is why I could not understand them or find my way into them.
He tells me that in order to manifest my creative vision, and that I need to endure the process, I need to walk into the darkness, and to emerge on the other side before the true work can come to life. He speaks to me of love and passion, the forces that move my heart, that sing to my body and sate my desires, and he talks to me of how these experiences become shattered in time, the vision of purity and innocence smashed and ground into dust, taking all away and dragging peace and pleasure into the darkness of the underworld. He tells me then of the knowledge that is found in the darkness, in the union with death and destruction, in the annihilation of all that offers security and meaning. He tells me then that it is only at this point, can the beauty of my heart be built in a way that has meaning. He tells me that the process is necessary, the experience is necessary, in order that I can build from a place of passion and authenticity…. for until I have understood the depths of my passion, my desire and my need, I cannot break it apart to find the materials that I need to build the vision that I must.
I stand there in the landscape of The Three of Disks, and I feel overwhelmed by what he has told me, but also relieved that I know what to do next. My materials are scattered around me now, I see that, I am standing in some kind of reclamation yard, and I need to choose with care. Not all that I have is fit for purpose, and I sense that much must be discarded. Now I can see from this perspective I start to feel quite hopeful, for what I can do is work, that I can do, and I can do it well.
Malachi… my messenger… he is already disappearing, his quiet but powerful presence rapidly withdrawing into the fragmenting vision, as I see the fluttering banner of The Three of Disks, and I step back through the portal into The Hallway of Beginnings.
The Three of Disks
Mars in Capricorn
10 to 20 degrees of Capricorn
The Lord of Material Works.