I remember a dream from long ago, a story half finished, or perhaps finished but never begun…… it echoes in the distant reaches of my memories, calling to me, inviting me back in, luring me with promises of understanding…..I never like to leave anything unfinished, and I feel that the time has emerged, like a wrinkled brown moth from a crusty chrysalis, now is the time to let it out into the light of life, to dry it’s wings and to begin it’s story, to fly unfettered into the light of the moon. I walk the stairs, each step bringing me closer to my annihilation, closer to The Hanged Man’s noose. My fear clanks silently around my ankles, and fills my ears with the thin feral screams of a mother grieving for a long lost child. The door stands like a loathed headmaster, forbidding and stern, but The Devil is in me now, and with a bid for bravery, I push open the door to expose the fluttering shroud of The Moon. I walk mystified, disorientated and confused into the summer light of The Priestess. I see her oasis in the far distance, her unlimited gaze embraces the curvature of the very earth she stands upon, lady of light, seer of my dreams, a channel for the tides of intuitive awareness that ebb and flow within her watery soul. Where is The Moon, I wonder, where is the card I seek…….. Looking closer at the land before me, I see that I am standing in front of an ancient temple complex, the sand of millennia encroaching upon its dry, desiccated walls, it is perhaps the ruins of some forgotten deity, or more likely the architectural pride of some long forgotten King of times long past. I stand for what seems to be an age, rooted in this place, a stubborn desert plant, waiting for water, waiting for nourishment, counting the grains of sand as they measure the infinity of time that passes in this immortal realm. Finally, I sense a change, a slight difference in the temperature, a cooling of The Sun, and as I finally look up. I see that The Sun now setting towards the horizon, with a rapidity that I find alarming, and I suddenly feel a shiver, and a sense of coldness growing behind me, a lurking presence that grows with each second, rising up like a child’s nameless monster to overwhelm and devour me, to engulf my life and to toss it carelessly, unnamed and unknown, into a void of oblivion, to sink without trace for eternity into an ink dark sea. I turn, slowly and inexorably, as I know that I must, I turn full circle to meet with my nightmare, my nemesis my saviour, I turn to face the beauty and the horror that is The Moon. The tall towers rise up before me, their jackal headed sentries, silent and foreboding, and I walk into a land of encroaching darkness, suffocating fear and the terror that I always knew was here. Strange shapes loom and magnify, cloaked in unidentifiable noise, neither human nor animal, soft, rooting noises, tearing and terrifying in their obscurity. Rapacious animal grunts, and their incoherent moaning retaliations stutter from behind shadowy rocks, and I trip, stumble and feel my way into the darkening maw, until in the end I am subdued by fear, immobilized, victim, I am helpless, I am undone. I crouch, childlike, with my back against a rock, I don’t know what to do, and like a small child, I wonder if I shut my eyes, whether everything will go away. I close my eyes, and ask for help, and I guess that in some distant part of myself, I am asking for my mother to come, to save me from the monsters, to make it all go away. Ssssshhh……I hear something…….a voice……. it is not my mother’s voice….. a different voice, it is Malachi….. but he is not here, he is not there either, he is within… he is talking…. what is he saying…. I can’t quite hear him…… be quiet….. be still….. hold still……hold tight……“go down” he is saying, “get out of your head”, “go into your body, go down” I put my fingers in my ears to shut out the monstrous noises that surround me and I listen to the words that Malachi left in my head. I try to breathe a little slower, and to concentrate. I imagine myself as a malleable golden form, featureless and soft, the form is sitting in my head. I find a small hole at the bottom of my skull, and begin to squeeze and inch my way into it. This is strange…. The hole is enlarging, and a little more of me is getting in, going down, sliding in to the cavity behind my heart. The soft golden form that is me elongates and morphs, stretching like elastic and moves quickly now, as momentum builds, until it suddenly drops down, filling the space comfortably, for all the world like a marmalade cat, purring gently in a chair. I sit, silent, I am silent, there is silence…. I am at peace. My new vision enables me to see directly to the heart of the matter, unencumbered by fear, and the world looks entirely different. I look up to The Sun rising above the distant hills and walk towards the beautifully carved statues that guard this valley, and as I walk with renewed confidence, my fears fragment to ashes beneath my feet, just dust on the lifting breeze. I journeyed with my golden heart, into the sunrise, that rolled across the teardrops sliding down my sandstone cheeks. Like a statue of Nefertiti that I had seen in a museum in Egypt, I stood, a sentry, gazing into the golden power of the Atlas Mountains, bewitched and inconspicuous. As the sun rose, chasing away the desert of darkness that had seemed as powerful as Mordor, the difficult memories of the night fluttered like moths wings into my mind, but like moths, they flew away from the darkness and into the light, and I noticed the heavy blocks at the beginning of the temple complex, and the way some small plants had started to grow in the slight dampness of their shade, helped by the dung left behind by passing camels. Even here in the searing aridity there were the beginnings of fertility.
XVIII The Moon
Zodiacal Trump of Pisces
The ruler of the Flux & Reflux
The Child of the Sons of the Mighty
Jupiter & Neptune Rule
Venus in Exaltation
My name is Joanna Grant, I am an Astrologer, Tarot Reader and Writer, who lives om the beautiful Beara Peninsular in the South West of Ireland. My long knowledge of Astrology leads and informs my practice in offering guidance and empowerment, helping others to lead a more authentic and magical life. You can read more about me here.
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