How to heal a past relationship: A Sample Reading

What were the conscious motives for beginning the relationship?

The Nine of Wands-Strength: This relationship offered you the chance to heal areas of wands9cut35your life that had remained hidden until now, providing you with the arena in which to challenge and develop beliefs rooted within the past, probably involving unresolved parental relationships. Courage would have been needed to face the darkness discovered in this process, but the potential rewards were a deep inner strength, the product of the eventual combining of the inner male and female aspects of your self. You may well have been attracted to your partner by the deep inner strength that you sensed in her, an ability to keep on going even in times of difficulty, as if she was drawn on by a hidden spirituality, which in fact may well reflect a power within you also. This relationship would have been a trigger for revealing your own darkness to yourself, and the landscape through which you could meet and resolve those challenges.

What were the conscious motives for maintaining the relationship?

The Princess of Cups: cupsprincesscut35

Consciously, you maintained this relationship, because it gave you a sense of emotional freedom and liberation, there were no power games and it is likely that the relationship allowed you a certain sense of self acceptance and inner harmony. The presence of children is also indicated here as a conscious motive….as well as the dream of a happy and emotionally fulfilling future. This relationship offered you the promise of manifesting your dreams of a happy relationship, a sensitive and romantic dream, which may have foundered somewhat on the realities of life together. On some level I feel that this relationship may have shielded you from the realities of life and helped you to stay in a protected and dream like state, removed from the realities of life.

What was the energy bringing you together – the unconscious magnetism?

The Ace of Wands: Wands1Cut35

The unconscious magnetism bringing you together was the rapid and fiery potential of transformation. You were probably passionately attracted sexually to your partners drive and energy, and the spark of power that flowed between you, an energy that is both destructive and at the same time creative. It is likely that you did achieve a great deal together, both in the outer, and in the inner worlds. The flames of conflict would have provided you with opportunities to cleanse and purify on all levels, bringing with it a powerful opportunity to bring to light the more shadowy parts of yourself, particularly in regards to sexuality. There was likely to be a very strong spiritual connection also, which suggests that this relationship could have been an opportunity to further a past life connection on a higher level.

What was the energy holding you together?

The Ace of Disks

disks1cut35The energy holding you together was a sense of shared growth, a union of matter and spirit, physicality and spirituality, a new start in life. There was the chance of putting down roots and building a life together. It is likely that you shared a deep sense of meaning, and the recognition that there is more to life than material wealth, an awareness of the value of inner richness…. This relationship offered you the chance to withstand even the greatest conflicts, in order that you could sift out all the things that had become superfluous to you. Your partner encouraged you to develop your potential, and to give more definite expression to your abilities and strengths. This relationship represented a new start for you, and your partner represented in some ways, a physical anchor, a point of reference, the centre to your world.

In which areas did you share with each other positively and supportively?

The 3 of Cups

cups3cut35It is likely that you shared a very special level of creative exchange with your partner, an ability to communicate in an emotional or close way that is unique to the two of you. You share something of great value, and it is a positive and supportive thing that is likely to remain. The fact that you are both committed parents is suggested by this card, and I feel that this relates here. This was a creative union both in terms of offspring, and also in the emotional support that you provided each other as a family. There is a sense of structure here, a feeling of permanence and of an emotional foundation that cannot be undone.

In which areas did you have problems and difficulties?

The 10 of Disks

Disks10Cut35This card talks about the ability to give, and in this position, suggests that you may have experienced difficulties in sharing, communicating, or giving, and that you may have withheld yourself from the relationship in some way. There may have been difficulties with money, and also the possibility of inherited issues that have been passed down through the family line. Your challenge would have been to recognise your inner wealth, to feel confident in that, and to share it with your partner.


What were your joint tasks in relation to inner growth and self-development?

The Prince of Swords

SwordsPrinceCut35Your joint tasks for inner growth, related to the cutting away from the past, and the opportunity to renew outdated relationship structures. It is likely that there were inherited relationship issues that you were challenged to break away from, and this could have been a factor in the separation. You had the opportunity here to think creatively about your situation, and rather than to see the relationship itself as restrictive, to rather see it perhaps as a place from which you could both gain a fresh perspective into your respective situations, and to use this as a tool to enhance your creative power. More than any other card, this one speaks of separation. Deep and far reaching changes can only take place if both partners are ready to let go of old patterns. The principles upon which you once based your relationships, no longer applied, so unless you were both prepared to seek freedom from this dynamic, and to rebuild your relationship, then separation may have been the only option.

What were your joint tasks in relation to what you do in the world?

The Ace of Swords

swords1cut35Your joint tasks were connected to the dispelling of illusion and the bringing of clarity. You were challenged through this relationship to live according to your inner truth, to come clean with each other and to demonstrate a strong awareness living openly and with love. This may not have been easy, and situations may have arisen that forced you both to recognise the truth of things and to shed light on actions of cowardice and half heartedness. It was important for both of you to live according to the perceptions of your heart, and this could also have been a factor in the separation, as the Prince of Swords raises the Sword of Truth, to cut free from illusion and deception in order that life may be lived with integrity.

 What remains unfinished with this relationship that you need to deal with now?

The Empress

3empresscut35This card falling here suggests that many of the issues that attracted you to your partner remain unfinished. The Empress represents the anima, the mother, love, abundance and harmony. She is the creator who gives birth, the source of vital emotionality. Your partner represented your inner feminine on many levels, and through your relationship you were offered the potential to connect to and integrate that feminine side of yourself which you may have neglected or left unexplored. If intimacy scared you in this relationship, it is likely that there are unresolved mother issues that you carry forward with you, and that it is this that lies unfinished. In another aspect, this lady is the mother of your children, so on a certain level, this relationship will remain with you always.

Outlook – what’s the coming theme for you in your next steps regarding relationships?
The Universe

21universecut35You have the opportunity to let go of old fears, and to transcend the structures that have held you back from experiencing your true emotionality. A great learning cycle is drawing to a close and your willingness to be open with your love can carry you beyond the limitations of the past. You are coming to a realisation that it is no longer necessary to disguise yourself, to dress up, to hide…for you are reaching an awareness that the things that you thought were restricting you, were only in your mind. Your perception changes, you are now free to step through the door, to be open and to fully surrender, to be at one with The Universe.


Overall, I felt that this relationship offered huge potential, but that none of the cards drawn represented the middle of the Tree of Life, apart from The Prince of Swords. This suggests to me that the process of separation may have been a fundamental lesson of this union, as it seems to be very much about creation…. and then moving on. It seems too that the initial desire for transformation and change may not have been followed through perhaps, this was a relationship that had a great deal of spirituality as its founding principle, and that the manifestation of this was through the act of creation (children), but that ultimately, the full potential of the relationship may only be fulfilled through separation.

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Images reproduced from the Thoth Tarot with the permission of US Games

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