I walk the stairs today with a feeling of inevitability….
On some level, I am coming to the end of a long period of testing… I am reaching the end of something…. and I guess that this is what this particular card is all about. The last of the fiery cards…. when the creative vision can find no way to ground it self in any way, it must be put down, the burden becomes too heavy, it must be released…. for a new vision to take its place.
I stand before the doorway, and with feelings of bravery and emotion, I push open the door, and part the glowing orange fractals that hang within the portal of the 10 of Wands.
I am immediately struck by the heat in this place….. it feels tropical, blood heat… not oppressive, but nearly…. a degree more and it would be too much, and I would be collapsing. I take a deep breath, of the warm humid air, and step forward into a lush field…. of an intense verdant green… the color of a cicada, jewel like and mesmerizing. The energy emanates from the field like a heat haze… warping the images of the far distance as if they are mirages in the desert.
In the middle of the field I see a large wooden cart, being drawn by a shiny brown water buffalo, which is harnessed in with broad leather straps. It is stationary, as if waiting for something, as there is room for another besides, but its partner stands some way off, nonchalantly eating the grass, and not seeming to pay the other any attention at all.
I look at the still bovine beast, and set out to try and reach her…. but the grass is so lush and thick, I can make no headway at all. I give up after a while, and lie down in the grass, I am overwhelmed by the intensity of the blue the sky and the throbbing heat of the sun…. the energy in this place is astounding…. it seems too much… as if it will all implode at any minute. I get up again after I have had a rest, and look over to the cart…… it is still there, and I realise that trying to push through the grass is not going to yield results. I think about this for a moment, and decide that if I am to go over to the cart, I need to fly, so in order to achieve this, I turn myself into a bird, and fly up, out of the green that holds me back and through the sparkling sunshine until I land, beside the glowing conker coloured animal, waiting so patiently for me.
I put my hand on her sleek head, and rub her ears…. I ask her why she is standing there waiting for the other buffalo. She says that she was told to do it, but that she is tired of pulling the cart on her own, so I tell her that she doesn’t need to be there if she doesn’t want to be…. she says nothing to this seemingly obvious statement, and just looks at the road ahead, twitching her ears in the dull heat…. waiting.
I go over to the other buffalo, and watch it chewing the grass. He does not seem interested in much else really, and only gives me a passing glance, so I move closer, and talk to him. I ask him why he isn’t helping, and he says that he doesn’t want to. I ask him why he is still here then, if he doesn’t want to help pull the cart, and he says he doesn’t know. I look at him, to see if I can gauge anything by searching his eyes, but nothing reveals itself to me.
I go back to the cart, and the patiently waiting beast. I unbuckle the harness, and give her a rub down with a bunch of grass, she likes that, and I tell her to lie down and rest, and she kneels down in the long green grass, and rolls over onto her side. The water buffalo lies there in the lush pasture, eyes closed, in the slow summer heat and sleeps, her glowing coat, shines and gleams…… she is at peace.
As afternoon begins to draw longer shadows on the far sides of the valley, she stirs, and eventually lumbers to her feet. She looks around her, as if to look for change……the other water-buffalo still stands, chewing the grass….. Unmoved, and un-moving, the cart remains where I laid it, nothing has changed, in the valley, everything remains the same. She looks off into the distance, and then as if she has spied something on one of the far off hilltops, tosses her head, and starts to move slowly away. I watch her steady gait, her glowing conker coat, burnished against the verdant grass….. I watch her until she disappears from my sight, and I silently wish her well, wherever she is heading for, unburdened and free.
I head back myself, a little sadly today, for I am not sure what it is I have just witnessed, but there has been a finality about it…. a sense of endings… it is time to begin again. I walk back through the glowing orange portal of The 10 of Wands.
Saturn in Sagittarius
Lord of Oppression